1. |
Beau Ideal
02:46
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I know you won't rush
I see your lips are smiling through so slightly
My eyes while taking sips of you so clouded
Staring at the sequins on your arm
As you talk about how fragile...
I'm just so frantic
I think I'm damaged
In the afterglow
Abandonment as my cargo
It comes slow
From years ago
I know I'll fall back down
I'll just run it until it breaks down
Until that day, I'm building up you now
An open book, lately
Achilles heel
Am I enough for you?
Beau fucking ideal
I slur your joy as we pour
Hanging words in petrichor
Nothing's bad anymore, I float
Nothing's bad anymore
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2. |
Knots
05:02
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I never said that stuttered line
"You make me wanna live past 29"
Walking in stride
I'm like a blank conversation
I thought of nothing else all night
I didn't know anyone could scare me like that
I fell too fast and I forget too slow
You wanted me, you said
But then just stopped
And how little joy I realise I had outside of you and I
I'm being understanding
Arriving a marble bust of ugliness when you said it
And it hit like a punch in the knots in my guts
Like my insides fell out of my feet and all over the floor of that Airbnb
So is this living?
I can't stomach it
Thinking how if I'd see you
I'd lean in, say
"I cant stand it
I'm not coping
It's been too much
And I miss you"
But you'll never stare at me like that again
And I'll just cry on all my train rides
Do you really want to be alone right now?
Would I hate you if you'd not said this all along?
I can't be the one
Because there's something you see that's wrong with me
You wouldn't tell me what it is
But there is something wrong with who I am in your reasoning
And frankly I agree
I just hate that that's what you can see
And I miss you
And I hate me
I don't want to have to keep checking I'm still here when you're gone
And take myself to bed
Stop thinking how you sound in the heat of it
Put down one foot and then the other one
I tried walking
But it didn't work
Draw a line under your name
For the time I can never claim back
You could always just ruin me in a heartbeat
But I'd do it all again in that same heartbeat
And you will always ruin me in a heartbeat
I know you told me not to
But I'm still putting you first
Or anyone else, I can't take care of myself
Well, I don't try
I'm just so sad all the fucking time
If I could just begin
But it hurts too much this side of us
I thought I'd seen who you are
But I don't really know what I've learned so far
You could always ruin me in a heartbeat
But I'd just do it all again in that same heartbeat
You could always ruin me in a heartbeat
But I'd just do it all again in that same heartbeat
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